Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
