Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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