it's like heaven, but drunker
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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