Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
