READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
