did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
