So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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