im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
