8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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