Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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