perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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