the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
