dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
