His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize