Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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