Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
