Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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