At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
