erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
