I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
