eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
