My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
