I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
