Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
