yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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