his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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