...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
