It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
