dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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