I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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