Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
