We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize