i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
