imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
