Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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