so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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