guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
