somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
