Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
