i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
