it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
