What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was confusing and full of hummus
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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