What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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