areolas are like halos for boobs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize