i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
