Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You are the jesus of drinking
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
