so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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