Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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