My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
