I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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