I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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