i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
barbara walters just said penis...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up under a house in Key West
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
