no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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