i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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