Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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