also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
