im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
